I am writing this to all the women or men who are somewhat lonely and need to try and find that ideal partner to share their life. They always say that life begins at 40, but that is not always the truth. For me it began at 50 and has been getting even better as the years now pass.
I was born in NC in the US in August of 1951. I had an awful childhood. My mother and dad divorced when I was 10 months old. I am the youngest of 3, my brother is 4 years older and my sister is 2 years older. I was the one who always had to take the blame and pay the consequences for anything that might upset the apple cart, so to speak. I had more beatings than any one child should ever have. I survived and in a way, I guess that you could say that it made me a stronger and more positive person later in life.
To speed things up and not bore anyone to death, I will forgo all the gory details that I had to endure throughout growing up. I have been married 3 times. The first time was in the 80’s and I married a man who was an alcoholic but not an apparent abuser. Our life was ok for a while, then after about a year or so, he became very possessive and things were beginning to get to the violent stage. He even went so far as to put a gun to my head. That’s when I decided it was time to pack it in, so I left. I went to an attorney and filed for divorce. I kept in contact with a special female friend of mine and several years later I found out that he died and the house was up for sale. His first wife and daughter were trying to forge my signature on the papers, etc. I hired an attorney and put a stop to it immediately. It was at this time that I found that I even owned the house and that the papers he had been served with for his signature, well he burnt them in the fireplace, therefore I was not divorced, but now a widow. I told my attorney to advise the people that had they notified me and tried to do things legally, they could have had it all, but since they had tried to defraud me and by now the memory of George (my deceased husband), that they would have to pay me out. I left all of this in the hands of the attorney, and all finally was sorted out.
By this time I had moved to Colorado and had met a man whom I felt was for me. In 1990 we got married and for several years it was touch and go. He was handicapped with polio, which was ok for me. I don’t look at a person on the outside; I see their beauty from the inside. This was ok for several years. We lived in a house that was owned by him, my name never appeared on any of the papers, which was fine with me. We spent a month every year in Mexico and this happened for about 10 years. On one of the trips he fell and broke his leg. This is when all the problems started to come to life and it just became too much for me to bear. In our life together, he would go to the supermarket on a daily bases, buying stuff that most of the times would just sit and rot. I am not a big eater and most of the time I did not like the stuff he would cook, but ate it anyway, because well, that’s what one does. I was afraid that if I divorced him, that I would be so lonely that I would just wither and die. He was using me like a maid, something to just wipe your feet on and never told me he loved me, never really even showed me he did, and I was getting more and more miserable as time went on. My daughter and I had several conversations about this and it was finally her idea that I get out and meet someone and to tell (Ken) to stuff it, it’s over. After much contemplation I did just that.
Now this is when the story really begins to take shape. I have always enjoyed reading the personal ads, either in the newspapers or on the internet. It is sometimes a form of laughable entertainment and it’s either cheap or free. It was 25 December 2001 that I went onto the internet, read some personal ads that were on Excite.com and read the profile of someone, who I thought, this man is just too good to be true. He’s romantic, an actor, loves opera, classical music, writes beautiful poetry and is good looking. This has to be a made up story, just to get your attention. The more I read on his website, I just had to find out if this man was for real or put-on. So on that day I just happened to write a very long winded e-mail and in the e-mail advised him that if he was a recovering alcoholic, recovering drug addict or looking for cyber-sex, not to bother responding, but if he was who his profile and website says he is to please write back if interested. It was later that day that I was surprised with a return e-mail and life has not been the same for me since, for the better, I might add.
Mike and I wrote one another everyday or chatted on one of the chats like Yahoo everyday and sometimes several hours at a time and often several time throughout the day. We were really getting to know one another and falling in love at the same time. It was so refreshing to be able to talk to a man about anything and everything and he knew exactly how I was feeling. It was getting to the point that we were saying almost the same thing at the same time to one another or finishing each others questions before they were even completed. Needless to say, it was getting very scary for me. I was treading in waters that I had never felt before. I was still married at this time and how am I going to get away from him to get to this wonderful person in South Africa. When I tell you that I had to get it figured out, well, I did. I was supposed to be flying to New Jersey to a function that was going to be taken place for a week, but instead I went to Chicago, Il, stayed in a hotel for a couple of nights and caught a flight to Johannesburg, South Africa. I had purchased a one way ticket, so if this man was a monster, I was in dire straits, but something kept telling me, not to worry, that this is for real and it is going to work out. All the way on the plane, I was excited and nervous, yet there was a sense of calmness too. I arrived in Johannesburg International Airport on Friday October 11, 2002 and that has been the best, no, absolutely the best decision I have ever made in my life. Mike is everything and more than he had described. He is the type of man that all women dream or say they would like to have. We have no money in our lives, but we are happy and our lives together just seem to get stronger and stronger as each day passes.
I was divorced by Ken on October 31, 2004, pares arrived in the mail, and on May 2, 2005 Mike and I got married, then on September 1, 2005 we purchased a smallholding farm in the Eastern Cape and moved down from Johannesburg. We had several plans when we came down, we wanted to do research for people on the internet, I wanted to open an employment agency for white collar workers, we actually had so many ideas, but really could not get interested in too many of them. But knew we had to do something in order to pay the bond. As it stands now, Mike is doing research and copywriting for clients for the internet and websites and in February 2007, we had the opportunity to make another one of my dreams come true. I have always wanted to build things, work with wood and bring life back to the fallen trees without just using it for firewood. We got that opportunity on 1 Feb. 2007, when we took over the operations of an existing furniture manufacturing business. We moved all the equipment to our farm and started making beds, tables, lamps candle holders and more. I am now 56, Mike is 67 and we feel like a couple teenagers or younger, our bodies tell us all the time our age, but mentally, we are still very young indeed. I have the things in life that I have always just wished for. Our business is surviving, nothing major yet, but I am making things and working with the equipment and most of all I am having fun. Money, well that is another story. I wish for that everyday, it has yet to arrive, but we survive and we are happy. Mike and I have not had one disagreement or argument yet in 10 years. We talk things out; we discuss things together and make the decisions together as a family, not just because he or she says so. We actually have the same ideas and work our relationship together. It does happen and I would suggest to anyone who has ever had the thoughts about meeting someone, no matter your age, to just be cautious, use your self guided insights and better judgements, and if you feel this is a good thing, then go for it, but if you have the slightest doubts, keep on guard, but give it a try, you just might be surprised. The one thing I might add here is to keep your goals in life set high, but be willing to compromise; you just might be surprised at the outcome.